Saturday, July 18, 2009

Absence makes the heart grow stale.

Truthfully, I haven't blogged in months.  why?  Not busy.  I am super-duper deluxe busy, but that is when I usually write - to clear the brain.  You know, sort of dump the craziness in my head onto something concrete, black and white, tangible.

So Why not?  Guilt.  I have always prided myself on not being ruled by guilt.  Just doesn't work on me.  People that try to manipulate me with guilt get away with a few times, then, well, I have to "unleash the bitch," and go a little psycho.  Or not, sometimes I just write them off as not worth the effort, and they fade into the distance of people I "usedta" deal with.  Or, I politely sypmathise with their plight, and let them know that with more time, information and planning, I may be able to help them out next time.  This last works best in work scenarios, the psycho scene is what I often resort to with family.

But - self imposed guilt.  That, I have a hard time working around.  If I am writing here more than I write on the "real blog"  I am not filling my professional duties.  I am not really working in the field that I write about, so I have not been inspired to write.  If I am struggling with some old, dark demon, I might say things that would hurt someone that reads this - OK, my mom is the only one that reads this, but she is my dominate psychological figure, and personally knows most of my demons.

I still have not written in Road to Slainte.  But at least now I have ideas.  I have to wait on most of them, because they come out of a research study that has not been released to the public yet, so I can't go off on my little editorial rant, yet.  Ohhhhh - but I will.  Alluding to the communication confusion of professional and public use of like terms.  Where IS your shoulder?

Hopefully I am back.  Maybe even semi-regularly.  It feels good to tap-tap-tap, releasing the "monkey-mind" to play and grow.

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