The "torn" reference in this post is literal. My arms and legs are all scratched up. Taking the dead vegetation out of the yard has resulted in as much injury to my limbs as the hedges. Florida is NOT intended to withstand frost. My little area of Tampa never freezes. Last year I opted to not bring any plants in on the one day we were threatened with a freeze, and we got a little frost. I lost a few things, but it did not even effect the orchids, which is pretty amazing, as they are a distinctly tropical plant, and in my yard they are more exposed than is recommended. This year, when they said "freeze" I went through the yadda-yadda, whatever, not in my neighborhood, head in the sand trip; and was thoroughly amazed at the white blanket of frost in the park the next morning. And the next. And the next. By day 5 I had pretty much figured out that this is a "cleansing" year for the garden.
Everything needs to be replaced. But first it needs to be removed. A tropical garden, with large sections that are allowed to run wild, is a very sad thing after a big freeze. When I first moved to Tampa, the south had been hit with record breaking freezes, all of the out-lying areas were filled with row upon row of orange tree skeletons, eerie, sad, and incomprehensible to a farm girl used to the ebb and flow of northern life. I don't think my Caramobola (Star -Fruit tree) will make it. It could surprise me, it is 7 years old, good solid trunk and has had two years of prolific fruit bearing. Surprisingly, my cinnamon tree looks fine. It is not supposed to handle any freeze, Tampa is actually a little too far north for recommended growing.
I doubt that I will have it all cleared this weekend, but we are moving toward a goal.
I would be farther along on the yard, but yesterday was a wash. I would blame it on the rain, but I was beat, and only managed about 2 hours of actual work. Friday night I picked up my daughter, 3 other girls and one of the gym moms for a field trip to Gainesville. We watched our first college gym meet. 4th ranked UF (go Gator's) against 13th ranked LSU. LSU has the nation's top-ranked All Around gymnast, and she rocked it, but UF has an amazing group of specialty gymnasts, and some really great all-around contenders. TGD had a huge turn out, and we sat mostly together, just above the uneven bars. Fun, Fun, Fun! And I think the Wild Child could actually become a sports photographer, with a little practice, and some bigger lenses. Anyway - Traffic was horrible - and it took us forever to get out of the garage, forever to find a spot at Ben and Jerry's, forever to order, forever to get on the road, etc. etc. We ended up not getting back to Tampa until 1:30 am. It took lots and lots of caffeine to get me home. The other mom had to work at 6:00am, so she slept, as did the girls. I had a coffee/toffee ice-cream and 2 shots of espresso float at Ben & Jerry's - so I was good for the trip. But that amount of coffee can backfire on a girl after midnight. Restless sleep, then wide awake at 5:00am - UGH!!!!! sooo - not much got done, but the girl made it to practice at 9:00 am. The whole trip was a flashback to "away games" when I was in high school. Fun, exhausted, useless the next day. Ready to do it again, just not for several weeks.
I compartmentalize my life. Probably not as much as some, but I am acutely aware that I do this, and I typically do it on purpose. I have a very large circle of friends and acquaintances; people that are different, fun, intriguing. We are told to "be ourselves," that no matter the situation, we should be the "ourselves,' and I believe that. I am that.
The thing is, I'm a lot of different people, and my friendships reflect that. Some of my very closest friends, the people I love most in the world, my "go to" friendships when I am hurt, down, and confused, are not the people I spend most of my time with. Not that they live far way, or I don't love and want to spend time with them; they just live a different daily path than I do, and those paths seldom cross. I have friends that I feel very comfortable discussing deeply spiritual aspects of life. I have friends (conservative and liberal) with whom I have rousing political discussion. I have friends that get the full on bitch about my job on a daily basis (sorry, Alina). I have friends to whom I brag endlessly about my child - wait, that is everybody, does not really apply to this post. I have people that I bitch about my ex too, and I have people that know how deeply hurt I am that we were not able to maintain a cohesive parenting relationship for our daughter. I have friends with whom I discuss medical and political topics deeply and intellectually, and friends that I advise on their personal pain syndromes. I have friends that I call when I want a fight, and friends that I call when I need someone to knock me over the head. I have friends that call me when they need help, I have friends that call me when they know that not hearing from me in weeks is a sign of trouble. Friends who I tell to go to their doctor, ask for a steroid injection and try to take it easy. Friends with the same injury that I advise to have an energy healing session, take calendula and arnica, rest and ice for several days, and let me look at it when the energetic blockage is cleared. People that see me as personally liberal. People that know me as politically conservative. For the record, I consider myself moderate.
Easter is the one time that all of my worlds come together. The thing is, I am so busy at Easter that I get to observe all of these different people interact, and get to know each other. And it is fun, and very gratifying to me. These are people I love, people that would probably never meet or speak if it was not for this one holiday a year when we drag all of our friends to a very casual get together. I enjoy it because I am not any of those people that my friends are used to interacting with - I'm just the cooker girl at Easter. Say "hi," Kiss the cook, go mingle. If you are willing to flip an aebelskever or two, you get to hang in the kitchen a little longer, but otherwise - eat - mingle - get out of my kitchen.
Last evening I had an email from our Head Coach wanting to talk to me about Gym Girls meet schedule. I am 40-something years old, I have very good relationships with all of the authority figures in my life, and every time I get a "we need to talk" message my little mind and stomach starts having anxiety flip-flops. The daughter is practically perfect in every way. There can be no "problem." Just calm down, go and watch as much practice as you can, like you normally do - act casual. Be Cool.
Monday her group coach was not there, so she got to work with one of her favorite coaches and was bouncing off the wall with success, she even made her back hand-spring on the high beam. Really awkward to watch, but all the new skills start out that way. Cool - good for her, the one level 7 skill she did not have. So, anyway, I get to the gym last night, she is on floor, up first for routines. They added a layout to her first pass, and moved the round-off/back-handspring/ back-tuck to the end of her routine. Wow - that is a 7 floor sequence.
She comes running out to see me, tells me that they are moving her into level 7! To clarify, she will compete prep-op for the rest of the USAG season, but will compete 7 in the upcoming AAU meets. Could I be more proud?
But it gets better. On beam she is nailing her back hand spring. It looks like one of her easiest skills. Last week she was still scared to do it on the high beam even with a spot. Today she acts like she has been doing them her whole life.
Still more proud Mommy moments. The Wild Child Pics interview comes out in the Lutz News and the Tampa Tribune today. Go Wild Gym Child! Go!
Tradition has us looking ahead at the beginning of each New Year. Resolutions. Resignation. Revolutions. I also enjoy looking back. The group of women that I am closest to get together at the end of the year and do a little ritual where we focus on what we have learned from the waning year, and try to determine how or in which direction we would like to grow for the following year. Often we ask the universe to grant us gifts of strength of character to achieve our goals and continue learning grand lessons of life. It is a group of women that for about 15 years have spent a lot of time together. We used to see each other socially, and make an effort to get together without the men-folk about once a month. Now our only consistent gathering is Winter Solstice, and we all cling furiously to this tradition.
What have I learned? The big "life lesson" that will carry me through to the end of my days? or at least until my situation changes? One thing about this particular ritual, it makes you look at your past year, determine at least one truly important lesson that you will carry with you, a thing that changes you, even if only slightly. Mine: I am not what I do. This seems simple enough. But I have always defined myself by what I do. I have been a massage therapist/manual Physical therapist my entire adult life. I was doing massage on family and friends as a child, licensed by 18, it was "who I am." I was an internationally recognized pelvic floor therapist, the "go to" local therapist for TMJ. Now, for the first time in 25 years, I don't even own a massage table. Surprisingly (to me) I have not changed. I now do physical therapy in a setting that only requires a license and a strong back. I have those. I am becoming a good home health physical therapist. I am learning to let "who I am" define "what I do." I love the freedom this gives me. As I felt arthritis creeping in over the years, I have been afraid that I would not be able to work - and the fear had less to do with lack of income, than the fear of losing self. Now I know that even if I were to suddenly become disabled, I would have a huge set of challenges, but struggling with an identity problem will not be one of them.
On to gushy Mom mode. Photo girl is being interviewed by Lutz News on Tuesday. I would be more excited if the reporter had not requested coming to our house. Mad cleaning Frenzy - ugh. The house needed it.
Next weekend is the first optional gym meet. I have butterflies. She seems fine. Wild Child Pics just purchased a very cool point and shoot camera, the underwater housing is on order. I have usurped the camera, she doesn't need it for land pics, and I will never use it underwater. We decided to get it now, instead of waiting for the next snorkel trip so I can use it to take pictures of gym meets. It is not a DSLR - but it is till way more camera than I need. Fun to play with. Intimidating for us "non-camera" people.
I have tax stuff for both businesses ready to go to the accountant. Made my January 2nd dead line. My Darling Husband is a little slower. I am begging him to get organized enough that we won't have to file an extension this year. Why do I not help him, and organize it for him? Because I value our marriage. We work at different speeds, with different styles. We do very well with separate tasks that mesh, especially when his are manual and not on a time frame. He is the perfect compliment to my mad OCD qualities for things like our big Easter breakfast. I think if I had to work with him on organizing business things, I would let my inner bitch loose, and probably not be able to get her back on the leash.
Happy 2010. New Year. New Decade, still New Millenium.
I would be farther along on the yard, but yesterday was a wash. I would blame it on the rain, but I was beat, and only managed about 2 hours of actual work. Friday night I picked up my daughter, 3 other girls and one of the gym moms for a field trip to Gainesville. We watched our first college gym meet. 4th ranked UF (go Gator's) against 13th ranked LSU. LSU has the nation's top-ranked All Around gymnast, and she rocked it, but UF has an amazing group of specialty gymnasts, and some really great all-around contenders. TGD had a huge turn out, and we sat mostly together, just above the uneven bars. Fun, Fun, Fun! And I think the Wild Child could actually become a sports photographer, with a little practice, and some bigger lenses. Anyway - Traffic was horrible - and it took us forever to get out of the garage, forever to find a spot at Ben and Jerry's, forever to order, forever to get on the road, etc. etc. We ended up not getting back to Tampa until 1:30 am. It took lots and lots of caffeine to get me home. The other mom had to work at 6:00am, so she slept, as did the girls. I had a coffee/toffee ice-cream and 2 shots of espresso float at Ben & Jerry's - so I was good for the trip. But that amount of coffee can backfire on a girl after midnight. Restless sleep, then wide awake at 5:00am - UGH!!!!! sooo - not much got done, but the girl made it to practice at 9:00 am. The whole trip was a flashback to "away games" when I was in high school. Fun, exhausted, useless the next day. Ready to do it again, just not for several weeks.
