ReMix

Tradition has us looking ahead at the beginning of each New Year.  Resolutions. Resignation. Revolutions.  I also enjoy looking back.  The group of women that I am closest to get together at the end of the year and do a little ritual where we focus on what we have learned from the waning year, and try to determine how or in which direction we would like to grow for the following year.  Often we ask the universe to grant us gifts of strength of character to achieve our goals and continue learning grand lessons of life.  It is a group of women that for about 15 years have spent a lot of time together. We used to see each other socially, and make an effort to get together without the men-folk about once a month.  Now our only consistent gathering is Winter Solstice, and we all cling furiously to this tradition.

What have I learned?  The big "life lesson" that will carry me through to the end of my days? or at least until my situation changes?  One thing about this particular ritual, it makes you look at your past year, determine at least one truly important lesson that you will carry with you, a thing that changes you, even if only slightly.  Mine: I am not what I do. This seems simple enough. But I have always defined myself by what I do. I have been a massage therapist/manual Physical therapist my entire adult life.  I was doing massage on family and friends as a child, licensed by 18, it was "who I am."  I was an internationally recognized pelvic floor therapist, the "go to" local therapist for TMJ.  Now, for the first time in 25 years, I don't even own a massage table.  Surprisingly (to me) I have not changed.  I now do physical therapy in a setting that only requires a license and a strong back.  I have those.  I am becoming a good home health physical therapist.  I am learning to let "who I am" define "what I do." I love the freedom this gives me.  As I felt arthritis creeping in over the years, I have been afraid that I would not be able to work - and the fear had less to do with lack of income, than the fear of losing self.  Now I know that even if I were to suddenly become disabled, I would have a huge set of challenges, but struggling with an identity problem will not be one of them.

On to gushy Mom mode.  Photo girl is being interviewed by Lutz News on Tuesday.  I would be more excited if the reporter had not requested coming to our house.  Mad cleaning Frenzy - ugh.  The house needed it.

Next weekend is the first optional gym meet.  I have butterflies.  She seems fine.  Wild Child Pics just purchased a very cool point and shoot camera, the underwater housing is on order.  I have usurped the camera, she doesn't need it for land pics, and I will never use it underwater.  We decided to get it now, instead of waiting for the next snorkel trip so I can use it to take pictures of gym meets.  It is not a DSLR - but it is till way more camera than I need.  Fun to play with.  Intimidating for us "non-camera" people.

I have tax stuff for both businesses ready to go to the accountant.  Made my January 2nd dead line.  My Darling Husband is a little slower.  I am begging him to get organized enough that we won't have to file an extension this year.  Why do I not help him, and organize it for him?  Because I value our marriage.  We work at different speeds, with different styles.  We do very well with separate tasks that mesh, especially when his are manual and not on a time frame.  He is the perfect compliment to my mad OCD qualities for things like our big Easter breakfast.  I think if I had to work with him on organizing business things, I would let my inner bitch loose, and probably not be able to get her back on the leash.

Happy 2010.  New Year. New Decade,  still New Millenium.