Skimming the Colony

Indian Shores Beach is home to a black skimmer colony.  Apparently the only one remaining in Pinellas County after a helicopter associated with filming a Sea-Doo ad scared another colony off their nest in Shell Key earlier this year.  As a side rant - Pinellas has miles of beautiful beaches - why in the world would county officials authorize the filming of an advertisement on the shores of a wildlife preserve?

Yesterday I volunteered with the Audobon society to help protect these little critters from being trampelled by tourists, and yes, also educate the public about WHY you shouldn't let your 4 year old chase the babies.  Black skimmers are a threatened species, they only nest on sandy beaches, and Florida's economy is largely based on public access to our beautiful beaches.  Hmmmmmm - recipe for disaster, no wonder they are threatened.  Sometime last November the Wild Child brought home pictures of these birds - I just thought it was a really ugly seagull, had no idea that they had environmental import, but after spending yesterday being a "Bird Steward," they are my new favorite sea bird.

First - the babies are adorable, little balls of irreverent fluff that manage to disregard their parent's instruction on a regular basis - "what? stay in the scrape where it is cool and the mommy can shade me?  when there are feet to dodge and waves to catch?" not having it.  Scrapes are shallow depressions scraped in the sand, in lieu of nests.  The adults are excellent parents and have it down to a science.  At first, it looks like there are two colonies, because farther down the beach adults and nearly fledged immatures are just hanging out, loafing.  Periodically some of the loafers fly in to the main colony, and take over parenting duties for their mate, allowing the "on-duty" parent to take a break.  Smart!  I need that sort of parenting option, except I'd probably just hang with the loafers all day.

The babies do not fly until the are fledged (adult feathers in), so when they are nearly grown, it looks like a different species, or perhaps the female of the specie, but they are just awkward teens.  This is why the Audobon society is out there talking to the public.  the area between the shore and the nesting area is where skimmer families learn the ropes of being adults.  Wandering away, putting the beak in the water and running to practice skimming when they fly, fighting, playing.  This is also the area that people walk, jog and wander through - it is a public beach, and we can't restrict access.  The nesting area is roped off, and there are huge fines for harassing the birds, but only if law enforcement actually observes the harassment, and if it is deemed malicious.  With Turtles it is a little easier, they hatch at night, go to the water and swim away.  The skimmers hang out on the beach for a couple of months, in the height of tourist season.  So I spent my day educating people about how important it is to use a little consideration when wandering through the skimmer nursery, and hopefully getting people to enjoy these unusual birds that we may lose if we are not careful.

Random Thought

I have always had the notion that the world can be divided into two categories of people: those that deal with tough times with glimpses of suicidal thought, and those that entertain thoughts of homicide.  I have never wondered what the world would be like without me.  I have fantasized how the world would be devoid of the people that piss me off.

As a disclaimer - I have been carrying this idea around with me since my early teens.  As an adult I am aware that there are lots of healthier ways of handling stress - prayer, meditation, forgiveness, whacking golf balls with names and faces drawn on them, etc.  But seriously, do you know of anyone that hasn't at least thought of what their life would be like if Karma were truly instant, and controlled by human pettiness?  

Critical Thought

I feel a rant coming on.  I Love the internet. I love that information is instantly available.  The knowledge of the universe is at our finger tips. And Knowledge is Power. Instant and unfettered. Uncensored and unverified.  Frankly, there is more crap on the internet than real information.  But that isn't really a problem, we have been so bombarded with crazy advertisements and false claims that most people know that you can't believe most of what you read, or hear, or see.

People with degrees in psychology get paid very big bucks to manipulate us through advertising, or even set the mood in a bar (lights in many bars are graded to be brighter higher up, fading to warm bronze colors at face level, so everyone looks tan and healthy, fostering the "in crowd" feel).  This post is not really about the evils of corporate advertising, although it is one of my favorite rants. Advertising is at least honest in the respect that you know the motive is to sell you something.  Buyer beware, etc.  No, this rant has more to do with the constant barrage of half truths and warnings that come to me through email, face-book, texts and all other forms of electronic media.  This is a rant against all of the people that are trying to keep me safe from computer virus'. poisonous products, terrorist plots, and fake chicken.  And to all the people that are defending us from the amoral decisions of our political leaders, sneaky plots of the fraudulent charities, conspiracies of suburban housewives (OK, some of these may be true), and the horrible murderous trend of groups that are secretly gay, Muslim, vegetarian, or not Caucasian.  Even just cute heartwarming stories about how some of favorite songs, sayings or cultural icons came to be.

These things become quickly viral.  And it always seems to me that the more outrageous the claims, the more people are going to jump on them as true, respond and repost.  I'm sure I drive all of my friends crazy, because I'm the one that always checks things out on Snopes.com and sends links to all the people that got the original post. Except, not always.  When it is politically motivated, slanderous drivel, I often just sadly shake my head and delete it, because the people that send it are probably not interested in facts, but in propagating something that supports what they see as the truth. I'm a little embarrassed by how much I trust Snopes.com, I will freely admit it is the lazy person's fact check site.  I'm sure they make mistakes, but at least they seem to make an effort to try to weed through most of the crap on the internet.  

Recently someone sent me a beautiful, sad and poignant story of the origins of the song "Taps." Of course, it was complete crap, but harmless, and the perpetuating a myth that strengthens the power of the song.  This is what parables, fables and even religious texts count on.  A story that powerfully conveys the sentiment, in these cases, facts are not as important as the truth they convey.  Where the rant part comes in is when the post begins with the announcement: "This is true!" "I checked it out on Snopes" or "My grandmother's 2nd cousin's great nephew works for the national confederate library, and he researched this for her." This stuff drives me crazy, especially when 30 seconds of a lazy google search result in a debunking of the story, and any claim to legitimacy. These are the kind of stories that so support a beautiful myth, that if it were not for the wild claims of legitimacy at the beginning, I wouldn't have even looked at Snopes, in fact, I may have reposted it, just because it is a good story.

My Favorite Faulkner quote is something on the lines of: "poets are not interested in facts, but in truths."  I'm sure I mangled the quote - funny that it came from the Snope's trilogy - I just realized that. but this principal is what makes poetry, legends, mythology and art WORK - because they portray truths that are greater than the truths that we can grasp with our mere senses, the "facts," those constantly misleading bits of information that can be use to tell greater lies as well as larger truths.


Many years ago, sometime during Desert Storm, my mother gave me an "article" that someone had printed out for her.  Computers were not as ubiquitous as they are now, where misinformation can become almost instantly viral,but this was making the email rounds, and someone had gotten a copy to my Mom.  The article explained how decades of horrors visited upon us by the Muslim world, and justified a "no holds barred" approach to Iraq. Total destruction was perhaps too good for this monstrous civilization. Now we did not have a computer immediately available, and I had not heard of Snope's yet, but in reading the article, I saw that the discrepancies were obvious, and the tone abundantly so.  You have to realize, my Mom is VERY intelligent, and not quick to judge, but the article was playing on fears that she had harbored since my Aunt and Uncle had visited the Middle East, back when Iraq was our friend.  As I handed the article back to her, I pointed out that not a single incident listed mentioned Iraq.  That all of them were the acts of terrorist groups or countries whose only association with Iraq happened to be global geography.  It would be like blaming Canada for the bombing of Hiroshima, or the domestic terrorist acts of Timothy McVey.  But there we go, loosely associated "facts" strategically placed to draw conclusions with no basis in truth.

I think, as culture, we are losing the power of critical thought.  This is scary to me, as I feel that being able to analyze and interpret the information being thrown at us is our best bet for survival and growth as a civilization, and as individuals.  With great Power comes great Responsibility.  We are living in an age of fear, and I personally feel that few of our fears are grounded in fact.  Our fears are based in mistrust, and a constant barrage of misinformation that supports the fears and mistrust that we started with.  So please, please, please check your sources.  Especially if the post you are about to send out inflamed your passions, anger, or fear. Chances are they will also add to the general fear and mistrust of your larger social network.  How sad is this that?  Especially if the information isn't factual,  or if you are stirring ugly passions with 1/2 truths designed to mislead or support an agenda of fear and outrage.

 

Futurama

This will be incomplete - anyone who reads this, please add a comment with more examples.  

The future is now! I was watching "That 70's Show" and Red, the curmudgeony old father and Vietnam war vet, was grumbling because he felt that he was not living the future he had been promised, where is the jet pack?  where is the hover car?  True, the 70's was the beginning of the tech era, and the few techy devices were big, awkward and glitchy. I remember my dad had a "car phone," the size of an igloo cooler, incredibly complicated, nearly useless when he was out in the woods.  The popularization of the CB radio put us in touch with random strangers. We played "pong" for hours on our cousin's TV.  Our favorite shows were "Lost in Space," and "Star Trek."  Ok - my favorite shows were "Bewitched," and "I Dream of Jeannie," but I watched the other ones with my brother.

Now?  we have com devices.  Except our cell phones do so much more than just communicate with the Enterprise.  We have all of the information of the world at our finger tips, and the GPS capabilities that saved Kirk on so many lonely planets.  Remember the video phone from "2001 a Space Odyssey?" Dr. Frank Poole calls home to his wife and adoring daughter, and interacts on the large video screen in real time.  Skype anyone?  When my brother was in Iraq, my mom saw him more than she does when they live in the same state.  Many of the sci-fi shows of the 50's-70's treated pay/payments by "credits" as a standard.  In the now, many of us use fewer and fewer tangible forms of money.  Debit cards are easier than cash.  Even small companies often offer direct deposit, and on-line banking is so safe and easy, that I'm even doing it.  I just signed my daughter up for a reloadable visa card, I can add money on-line, or have her allowance automatically deducted from my account onto her card, and track everywhere that she uses it.  If it is lost or stolen, I get to cancel it.

"With great power comes great responsibility."  How cheesy am I? Big Brother IS watching.  Many of my friends choose to be completely "off the grid," and function without the comfort and convenience of technology.  Somewhere in my heart and head I sympathize with the sentiment; many of us grew up deeply influenced by the cold war, closely guarding all personal information, not wanting to be vulnerable in case of an insidious take over by a subtle foreign (or not so foreign) power.  Our children will be much more savvy about how to keep their information private, and they will have better tools for doing so.  They will learn from our mistakes, and our criminals.  For those that are very concerned that the government is tracking our computers and cell phones, I think a time will come where lack of activity will draw more attention than any specific activity.  

I have an adolescent.  Like it or not, she will function in this futuresque world where "personal" does not have the same connotation that it had for us.
This age of technology does challenge us as parents to define our moral compass in a new context.  We used to worry about our sons getting hold of Penthouse magazine, now we worry about our daughter's sending graphic pictures to their boyfriends via text. Embarrassing moments used to be something you hoped people would forget, now we worry about them becoming viral on You Tube.  I still believe that we cannot protect our children from the world, especially one that we barely understand. We can only teach them to protect themselves, and trust that they will learn from their mistakes, and hope that they learn from ours.

Of Twenties, Teens and Tweens

I have one of each.  Sort of.  I inherited the older 2 when I married the wonderful Darling Man.  The nearly teen is mine.  The 26 year old and nearly man are now roommates.  It is kind of cute, they are so "brother and sister," but the she still takes care of him like he is 5, and he still teases his big sister like he's 12.

They have decided to get a dog.  She already has one.  Maddy - my only grandpuppy.  Sweet, loving.  Annoying, hyper little pee factory.  Recently the Nearly Man went to the Largo SPCA (great facility) and he convinced his sister they needed a dog.  So the search is on.  Humane society, rescue sites, SPCA.  Then they decide to go to the pound - because they want to rescue a dog from being euthanized, and because pound adoptions are cheap.  But they really can't agree on what dog.  He wants medium to big - a border collie or Aussie, something that will catch a frisbee and play with him.  Or a lab that will wrestle and run.  She wants a playmate for Maddy, and is absolutely opposed to long hair shedding dogs.  The compromise seems to be hounds.  Maybe because they are short she thinks they are small?  anyway - every puppy on line is adorable, and they want them all.

Friday the took a trek to the pound, and took the little sister and one of her friends with them.  Just before they left, they mentioned that they can't get a dog for at least a month, because they are baby-sitting their Mom's dogs until she moves.  WHAT?  you are going to the saddest place on earth, knowing that you can't help any of them right now?  Did anyone think this through?

I got the call about 1/2 an hour later.  I did not even bother to say "hello."  I answered with "NO, you are not bringing a dog home."  long pause.  "How did you know what I was going to say?"  well - because I am OMNI-mom - the all knowing and far-seeing.   It was the superior powers of my crystal ball that allowed me to fortell her thoughts, even at that great distance.  She doesn't want a dog, she just wants to babysit until the siblings can take it home.  Except that we will be gone for two weeks, leaving the darling man to care for our 2 dogs, 1 cat, 1 1/2 rabbits, lizard, bird, house, yard, and full time job with out us.  I told her to call him.  He laughed.  She hung up.  Apparently there were real tears involved.  

Another parenting lesson learned.  Treks to the pound when you are not actually getting a dog may not be a great idea with emotional young people.  Still - they all want to do it again.  They are even more determined to rescue a puppy.


Completely off the subject.  I am very proud of my daughter and her friends. Navigating adolescence is hard, and they are helping each other through, and keeping each other on track.

Soup Nazi

I have been on a health kick.  At least as far as diet. There is this amazing oriental grocery store that I go by during my daily travels, and it has been an inspiring place to browse.  Full of fresh, exotic veggies and seafood.  Labels I can't read, and things that just look like I gotta try it.  On a side note, I completely organized my kitchen, and this includes a full set of "Producer Keepers" in the refrigerator.  They ROCK!  Even strawberries, blackberries, and raspberries are still fresh and yummy a week later.  I fed the picky girl salad with week-old lettuce and she didn't even bat an eye.  Yay, me!  Yay, pretty kitchen! Unfortunately no one in the family wants to take the necessary training to be able to put groceries away in my beautiful, yet complicated organizational structure, so the groceries sit on the table waiting for me to put them away.  That's OK - everything has a place, and any deviation would be a sin.

I've been on a soup kick, inspired by all of the lovely fresh herbs and veggies at the oriental place.  I am trying to learn to cook with a thai or vietnamese inspired flare.  I say inspired, because if I were ta actually try to learn, I would have to crack a recipe book.  I'm just winging it.  The Darling Man is not a big fan of soup,but he is a good sport.  I am determined to eat healthier and the light rice noodle, broth and veggie concoctions seem to be just the thing.  I love the salty/sweet/sour/spicy combination in this style of cooking. The girl loves soup, so its a pretty easy sell.  I have learned a few things - like if you are going to add seaweed in a recipe that does not ask for it, you really need to reduce the fish sauce.  My family only likes fishy taste if they don't recognize it.  Seaweed ups the fish flavor more than you would expect, but I love the nutritional component, and for some reason, the girl-child really likes seaweed.

I also learned that the fam does not like fish balls.  I really thought it would be a nice, light protein boost, and would be delicious.  Fish Ball Soup just sounds so amazing.  And the soup was really good.  Except for the fish balls.  The husband ate them, proof that he will eat anything.  I forced the girl to eat two.  I ate all of mine, but it will not show up on the menu again.   The dogs were ecstatic.  what to do with a pound of fish balls?

The egg drop soup was really easy, and turned out looking and tasting just like egg drop soup.  Ewwww.  The girl child loves egg drop soup.  I find it slimy, and nauseating.  The Darling Man ate it, even complimented the texture.  I don't think that they noticed that I ate chicken and rice noodle soup left-overs.  Next week I'm feeling italian.  I think I'll make sausage (turkey) and tortellini soup.  I know it is summer, and not soup season.  Don't judge me.  Maybe I'll do salad and cold plates all winter.  Florida is hot all year round, the seasons are blended, and on the two or three days that feel like it might be soup weather, we usually do chili.  I have promised the darling man that it will work its way out of my system. For now - I must make soup!

Since this is a total foodie post, I just gotta mention the deserts.  Yummy angel food cake, and key-lime pie (gotta do something with all of those yolks)  topped off with fresh berries and home made whipped cream.  Last night we made key-lime pie ice cream.  It doesn't get more summery than that!

Love by the Numbers

This is an old story, but it has been on my mind alot lately so, I thought I'd share.

When I split up from the Darling Daughter's Dad (DDD).  I was pretty devastated, divorced from the 1st husband, separated from the father of my child, feeling like a two-time loser with zero ability to pick a mate, I holed up like a hermit for about 3 months.  The first time I went out with friends, I ran into the ex.  He was happy, hanging with some girl, looked like his classic "sneaker date."  He invites a bunch of people he knows to the same venue, corrals the object of interest for most of the evening, makes his play. If it doesn't work out, no harm, no foul, it wasn't really a date. We were civil, nice almost.  I met a guy that asked me how I knew him, and was really impressed that we seemed so adult about the break up (not knowing it was a recent break-up).  Then he went on to tell me he had known the DDD for about 3 years, and admired him as a fun, crowd pleasing, single guy.  WTF????? we had been separate for 3 month?  I'm home with the under 5 year old!  How single had he been all this time?

So I went home, angry, heart-sick, feeling like I'd been duped, and started writing madly in the "angry" journal.  And I came up with a brilliant idea.  I would make a list.  A master list.  One that would embody all of my values and core principals, one that would, in effect, shield me from future stupid mistakes.  It was a list of criteria for my next love interest.  Things that are so important to me that straying from the list at all would be a DEAL BREAKER.  There were 15 items on the list, and they were all important:  Sense of humor, financial security, generosity, not wasteful, politically moderate, religiously open-minded, caring, out-doorsy, non-judgmental, etc., etc.  The first thing I wrote was "Hard Body."  Immediately under that I wrote:  "You shallow b***h, how did that even make the list?" - I wouldn't even meet my own criteria.  And then I ran the ex through the list, he hit 6.  Then I ran my 1st husband through the list - he hit 7.  Wait - I'm actually getting WORSE at picking guys?  Totally hanging it up - I obviously have better chances for happiness as a single mom.

And that was it.  I started prioritizing things that were important.  Went to dancing venues with friends that I knew the DDD wouldn't show up at, spent more time doing crafts, hanging with the girl friends, working harder.  Life was good.  Now - a little about Mike.

I have known Mike for years.  He was one of those people that would hold the darling girl so her dad and I could dance.  He was also my favorite dance partner when someone else had the girl.  Nice guy, great dad.  I knew he and his ex through their break up.  Talk about mature!  They still have a great relationship.  I started running into him at Contra Dances, and he was fun, but ZERO attraction.  One night we stopped for a beer after dancing, and he let me know he was interested - I put a stop to that!   Need to get my life back in order, blah, blah, lets talk again in a year, blah, blah.  Bought myself some time anyway.  He came over to the house a couple of times to help me with my web-site, his 13 year old and my 6 year old got along fairly well. Whatever.

One day I was flipping through some old journals and found "The List."  Just for kicks and giggles, I decided to run Mike through the list.  14 of 15.  Seriously?  Who would have thunk it?  Those are good numbers.  And what did he miss?  You guessed it.  The one I was totally embarrassed by, the one that did not address what I believe to be my own values.  I crossed off "Hard Body" and added "Computer Geek."  Wow 15/15

So - I initiated a "sneaker date" of my own.  He thought he was working on the web-site.  I got rid of the kid and cooked him dinner.  By the end of the evening it was very clear that the "attraction" thing was NOT a problem.  And a year later we got married.  So the moral of the story?  If you are one of those people that follow your heart, and your heart tends to screw you over and over - try letting your head weigh in on it once in awhile.  6 years later, I am truly living the dream, I have the best husband, partner, lover, computer guy in the world!  I'd say lucky me - but it was a calculated coup, and I couldn't be happier.