Scared Scaly

My last post was whiny.  I'd love to say it was out of character for me - but, well, I can be whiny.  I ate.  I am now significantly less cranky.

It really is fall now.  no foolin.'  Tomorrow photo girl and I plan to go to Myakka state park and brave the big scaly critters for our outdoorsy pleasure.   This is the one place I have ever been that the gators sort of freak me out.  It is my favorite place to take my northern relatives.  I once saw a 6 foot alligator being eaten by a much larger gator at this park.  I don't know what it is about Myakka, but there are LOTS of alligators.  They are everywhere.  Oddly, being on the river with them while gliding by (or over) them in a canoe does not bother me, but I do not like walking the trails near the river.  They are fast on land, faster than me, by a long shot. 

I will now impart a piece of wisdom that I like to keep close.  Mainly because I gained this knowledge through experience.  Painfully embarrassing, "what was I thinking," kind of experience.

NEVER WHACK AN ALLIGATOR

There.  Now you know.  Maybe the single most important piece of advice you ever gain from me.  "Of course," you think, "why would anyone do that?"  Well - here's the deal. 

My ex (husband, not photo girl's dad, way before him, when I was very young, and obviously, very stupid), and I went to Myakka to canoe.  Lots of big, fat lazy alligators sunning themselves in the autumn heat.  None of them moved, it was like watching koalas at the zoo.  We rowed up to a grassy hummock, covered by giant, lazy alligator hide.  His back was to me, nose in the water on the other side of the grassy little island, sort of in the way for turning the canoe around.   So, I'm thinking, that if I nudge him, he will probably slip into the water (forward) and we can be on our way.  And besides, how fast can they be?  So I nudged him.  Well, OK, I whacked him.

And things started moving.  I'm screaming "ROW" trying to force the canoe backwards.  These HUGE, SNAGGLEY TEETH, are framing all sides of the white open Maw of Death that I am staring into. The 'gators head comes down (and no, I have no idea how the head got UP, did I mention fast?) and the gator thumps its chin on the front of the canoe. I am thankful that we were pretty experienced canoeists.  We backed up fast enough that the alligator did not end up in the canoe for a snack, we managed to not tip the very rocky canoe that had been smacked at the tip by 1/2 a ton of 'gator.  And I did not lose any digits or body mass.  All in all a successful day of adrenalin and survival.

And tomorrow I take the daughter.  She's pretty smart - it would probably never cross her mind that whacking a gator is a good idea.  Besides, she knows this story.  Tells it more than I do.  Somehow, she is amused by it.