mini-van magic

We have an extra child - 3 mornings, 2 afternoons and occassional random extra times we have one of the DG's classmates.  He is (ugh) a BOY.  It's not his fault, and secretly, I think the kids adore each other.  They are more brother and sister (and look enough alike to be twins) than the mortal enemies that they profess when in ear-shot of their peers.  It is good to have him around.  Things are a little more balanced when I'm rushing two kids to stay on a schedule, and the girl gets away with nothing, as he will rat her out in a heartbeat (they are like siblings).

And, it is very good to test the operational quality of my secret parenting control device:  the car pool.  Oh yes, it is a machine of magnificent stealth.  Why else would a urban mom with one (full time) child need a six passenger mini-van that is decidedly uncool, yet oh, so practical?  Yes - it is a weapon of great significance.  You see, when I am the driver, even if I contribute to the conversation,  I am INVISIBLE.  I completely disappear off their radar screen.  They speak as if they are alone, and behave as if the power to destroy their life is not sitting in the front seat listening to old-people music.

The mini-van is the ultimate mommy tool.  Not just practical for hauling kids, equipment, dogs and groceries, it brings the holy grail of full disclosure to your very ears.  It must be used with caution, this is a very powerful, and dangerous tool. Never react to what you hear.  Any indication of surprise, and your cover is blown.  Bring up the conversation later.  Your child will think either:  You have magic mind reading abilities; or, their friends told on them.  Do not reveal your source.  Settling pack disputes of mysterious origin will keep them busy not hating you.  Realize, and beware!  if other adults are in the car, it works in reverse - they become invisible, and you must be very careful of the things you say, it will come back at the worst possible moment.

And - if you don't have one, get a multipassenger car, and haul your kids, their friends and everyone else around - if you dare!